A little while ago, I embarked on a journey. I kept a month-long journal of my experience.
I am in my mid-thirties with a decent job and a small family. I see myself as a creative if somewhat volatile person. I like to sing and write and meditate. I am a bit of a perfectionist. As well, I have a tendency toward anxiety, with just a soupçon of depression around the edges. I guess I can also be a little moody; something that my partner is not a bit fan of! My mental state is nothing too exotic, and the anxiety is sadly kind of run-of-the-mill given our current society.
I am telling you all of this so that you have some understanding of where I am starting from. Of course, no matter what I say, we must remember that I am still only a test group of one. This experience is purely anecdotal. Your mileage may vary.
Oh, that reminds me. What you do is up to you, and you are responsible for all of the outcomes associated with your own behaviour. I am NOT advocating the use of any illegal drugs. I am not advocating the buying of illegal drugs. I am not advocating you taking illegal drugs.
I am advocating thoughtful discussion, reasonable behaviour and a re-evaluation of some of our societal preconceived notions about plant medicines.
Enough rambling, let’s get started!
Day one, and it’s a Monday. I am at work. I definitely didn’t sleep enough last night. Before I took the dose I was feeling really tired. Plus, I’ve also recently given up coffee, so I was very glad when I realized that it seems to be giving me a boost.
Yes, I would say that it’s like a half a cup of coffee or something, but not uncomfortable in the least. I feel keen and excitable, but I’m not nervous or anything. (I am also a little excited to be doing this experiment at all, so that could be adding to the uplifted feeling)
Maybe the “boost” is not what someone might initially expect, given what we’re talking about. We’re talking about psilocybin, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms. I know that when people think of mushrooms, they think about the psychedelic stuff. They think of hallucinations and swirls of colour.
That might be fun, but I don’t think I’d be functional. And anyway, it’s not like that at small doses. So many substances behave very differently at tiny doses, and it’s only recently that microdosing has gotten much press or investigating.
So anyway, I’m not hallucinating. In fact, i don’t feel compromised at all. (That said, I did experience some ever-so-slight nausea after taking the capsule On the contrary, my brain feels ready to learn! I feel like a more curious version of my normal self.
Right now that interest in learning is a blessing. I’m currently stuck in training at work and it is dry and dull. The training is only a few weeks long, but there’s a guy who sits next to me, and I think he’s been sleeping through most of it. Not me, especially today! I feel like I have this internal pep/motivation which is keeping me awake, and that’s something when you’re discussing tax treaties. This is just about the last thing I thought I’d be doing with my life, so yeah, I can use a little push!
I am also going to note that although I have back problems, I am not currently experiencing any back pain. Probably not connected, but I thought I would mention it.