Mental: I’m still feeling worried about work, but honestly I am not feeling doom and gloom about it today. More nuts and bolts! I feel focused on trying to find ways to grow here. It would be nice to go up the ladder, so I may as well focus on learning this material. Maybe I actually can do this?
Physical: Physio was a good thing yesterday. I am still feeling pretty well. Now I just have to listen to what the nice man says and keep doing my exercises. I also realize that lately I am eating too much sugar. Something else to work on.
Spiritual: I have meditated, and I am still just getting the same message back. Even though it’s boring, I still need to stay in my current position. (Ok, fine!)
Yes, I suppose it’s obvious by now that I am borrowing heavily from the style of Ayelet Waldman, author of A Really Good Day. That’s the book that she wrote about her month of microdosing. I read it, and I did like it, but her attitude toward experimentation is different from mine. I really didn’t enjoy how she seemed to be so caught up in how “bad” she was for taking ultra-minuscule portions of LSD. She seemed pretty worried about what other people might think of her. (Plus, the poor lady has tons of baggage from her past since she has spent time working in drug enforcement!) I also didn’t like how she kind of laughs off her occasionally very rude behaviour.
I couldn’t relate. I’m not going to sit around and worry about whether I’m a terrible example. I’m not one to clutch at my pearls, and say “but what about the CHILDREN?” (The children can wait until they’re older, but right now, most of their parents could use a mild psychedelic!)
Anyway, despite my reservations about Waldman’s reservations, she has a few things going for her structure-wise. She took her month-long psychedelic experiment day by day, and she followed the same order of days that I will be following here. These are: microdose, transition and regular days. (I’ll be explaining more about the purpose and theory behind each of these days and the protocol in general as we go.)
Anyway, today was an ok day, but not great. (A little blah?)
I actually took today off work because the weather is shit and I am not risking my neck in a blizzard. I probably could have made it, but there have been a few accidents around town, they cancelled school, and I’m not keen to risk it.
Also, I have been so frustrated with what a beast work is, and I feel so overwhelmed lately, taking a little time to think doesn’t seem like such a bad thing. A good day to take stock of things. We’ll see what fresh hell tomorrow brings. 🙂