These days, an informed stoner can pick and choose.  You can actually know what you are buying.  What luxury!  For those of us who smoked 15 or 20 years ago, this is a giant step up. We remember the days of not having a sweet clue what you were getting.  In my experience, you’d be grateful to have found a dealer at all. Also, if you found something you loved, you often smoked it with the knowledge that you might never get your mitts around it again. 

In this modern age of legal weed, things are much different.  You can easily visit a local shop and find the right strain for your needs.  (Of course, I’ve found that given the choice I am a sucker for the AAA+ good stuff. Even if I am a stoner, I am still a fancy bitch!)

At this point, it’s a regular part of my life.  It’s up there with my daily black coffee.  For whatever reason, it works for me.  Marijuana seems to agree with my system and set my brain humming in the right direction.  I have figured out major life issues while using marijuana.  I have done deep meditations stoned.  I have had more intense religious/ritual experiences because of ritual marijuana use.  

I enjoy the mystery that it both lends to the world and somehow simultaneously manages to unravel.  I’m fascinated by the implications and outcomes of the altered perception it gives rise to.  It’s like a cheat code to feel more connected with nature.   It’s helped me when life feels crazy.  It’s fantastic for changing your perspective so you can see past anxiety.  It’s a way to get really inspired.  It’s like everything is still the same, but you can understand it/ relate to it/ make sense of it all better.  I like how it smooths out the rougher edges.

Yet It’s not the healthiest habit, I know that.  Probably my worst vice, really.  I’m comparatively kind of a health nut.  Smoking hardly seems like it fits with chia seeds, green smoothies, lemon water and vegan protein powder.  I also wonder if I am harming my body and voice.  While I (thankfully) don’t smoke cigarettes, it’s not particularly great to smoke anything.  

Still, it’s been a part of my somewhat-healthy lifestyle for a long time. Actually, I’ve realized that I’m pretty ok with giving up alcohol, but the idea of fully quitting marijuana is kinda…intimidating.  

But the thing is, I’m starting to wonder about life on the other side.  Will my singing voice improve? Will I actually become less anxious overall?  Will I be more focussed?  I honestly don’t know.

And you know what that means.  That means it’s time for a change. When a habit is this entrenched, I think that’s reason enough to consider letting it go.  There’s a danger in getting too dependent and staying too comfortable.  

I think it’s going to be challenging, but I think that’s precisely WHY I should do it.  I need to be JUST myself for a little while and make sure that I am adequately dealing with life’s challenges, instead of turning to pot as some kind of shortcut to deep thoughts. 

Let’s see what happens. 

Categories: Psychedelics, Writing

Tags: marijuana, Quitting, Self-improvement, smoking pot